


Beyond the Confines of Ordinary Language

by anarchycox



Series: Anarchycox's 2019 Personal Writing Challenge [6]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Accidental secret relationship, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, friendships, spies are the most clueless people ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 12:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17704325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Harry is concerned at all the time Eggsy is spending at the office, worried that the lad is never taking a break. He honestly had no clue that Eggsy was always there because it was the best way to spend time with his boyfriend, Merlin.





	Beyond the Confines of Ordinary Language

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eggsyobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/gifts).



“Eggsy, thank you for coming,” Harry said.

“‘Course, what’s up Arthur?” Eggsy asked and settled into the chair across from Harry’s stupid giant desk. Eggsy swore it got a little bit bigger every time he came into the room. “Mission?”

Harry shook his head, “No you have nothing on the docket for the next two weeks. That is what I wanted to speak to you about.”

Eggsy shrugged, “More training then?”

“No, see that is my concern. I had noticed that you seemed to be spending a lot of time here at the estate and I did a little digging. Eggsy, I am worried about you.”

Eggsy frowned, a little lost. He tried to think of anything that he had done that would cause Harry concern. No, if Harry knew what happened to the Lambo when he and Gawain were racing, he’d have lead with that. He had returned the sheep, and no one from the kitchen had chased him with a knife in a month. Eggsy honestly couldn’t think what was worrying Harry. Then he had a thought. “Is it that I’m wearing a three piece right now? I look good in a three piece.”

“No, I mean it isn’t what I would do, but it is acceptable,” Harry replied. “Eggsy, have you had a row with your mother?”

“Always, but you mean serious yeah?” At Harry’s nod, Eggsy smiled, “No, Harry. She and I are fine. She’s gotten a job, so is busy, and Daisy adores the creche she is at.”

“Are you broken up over the princess?”

“My mate, Tilde?” Eggsy snorted. “We had sex once, Harry. She’s the best, and we’re the best but we’re not romantic. We shagged and became friends. Not torn up over some lost romance. That shit’s only in the movies. Damsels in distress never actually go for the guy who rescues them. Also that was a year ago?” Eggsy was at a loss. “Harry, just say it plain already.”

“I understand that you are striving to be an excellent agent, Eggsy, and indeed you put many of your colleagues to shame. But this is a dangerous job, one that often carries a heavy cost. And it is important that you cultivate a life outside of work, my boy.”

“Oh my god, what did the people in HR do to you?” Eggsy frowned, “Wait, do we even have HR? Seriously, do we have an HR? Like I feel I should know if we did. R&D, med wing, psych evals, there has to be HR right? Who hires all the mechanics, the cooking staff?”

“Yes we have HR, and yes maybe they spoke to me about how much you are at the estate and made me watch a presentation on how to talk to employees about work/life balance. Here, they want you to have this mug.” Harry plunked the garish mug with the happy faces on his 17th Century desk.

“Aww, it’s cute, I’ll put pens in it.”

“Not the Mont Blanc I bought you for your birthday,” Harry was a bit appalled.

“Harry I don’t use that pen it scares me, I buy packs of 20 at the grocery store.” Eggsy bit his lip. “I just hurt your soul didn’t I?”

“I’m electing to ignore that for the moment out of a very reasonable concern that you are going to burn yourself out over your pathological need to impress.”

Eggsy had to laugh at how worried Harry looked. “I promise, sir, I am not burning out. Rather logical I’ve been spending more time here, innit?”

“Logical how?”

“Well Merlin is here a lot, so…” Eggsy opened his hands as if that was the proof and the situation was done.

“Exactly my point, Eggsy. Our illustrious quartermaster is a man among men, but not someone you should be modelling your behaviour on. In fact, he has driven several of our people in HR to drink, people of loose morals, and even an odd obsession with something called World of Warcraft, whatever that is. He is the worst workaholic ever created, and I will not see you go down the same path.”

“He’s been better since we got together,” Eggsy protested, eternally ready to defend his boyfriend.

“Together to do what?” Harry asked. “Is the increase in your time at the estate the last few months because of a project you two are working on?”

“Project, right, that’s one word for dating I suppose.” Eggsy was about to laugh but he got a good look at Harry. “Sir? Arthur? Jesus, Harry did you forget to breathe? Oh god, I’m calling medical.”

“I am fine,” Harry replied after a moment. “I just clearly need to get my hearing checked. I could have sworn you said ‘dating’. As in dating our quartermaster. My apologies for mishearing. What was it you said?”

“I said dating,” Eggsy replied calmly. “As in dating. As in boyfriends. As in I love the guy, stupid love him. Been together about six months or so I guess.”

“You can’t...I don’t understand.”

“Okay, sure, six months is maybe a little soon to say love but, how can you not love Merlin?” Eggsy knew he had a sappy grin on his face just thinking about it.

Harry looked even more ill, “His legs are too skinny, his appalling taste in music, the tattoos, the preference for scotch, thinking Gene Kelly is superior to Fred Astaire, the list goes on.”

“With you on the scotch, but not everything else. Harry there are no regulations about Kingsman and staff dating, we double checked.”

“You aren’t dating Merlin!”

“Yeah, I am,” Eggsy was starting to get a bit annoyed. “Joke’s not really funny, Harry.”

“It isn’t a joke, or if it is, you are playing it,” Harry snapped back. “You are one of my dearest friends, how could you not tell me your were seriously dating someone?"

“I didn’t think I had to tell you, we are rather obvious about it.”

“Have you said I love you to him, out loud where others have heard?”

“I learned how to sew a bit to mend his jumpers, what do you think that is, a declaration of war?” Eggsy stood up. “Harry we haven’t hid that we are dating, and I’m sorry if you didn’t notice, but I am sure everyone else has - we haven’t been hiding it at all.”

“Really? You think that, you really think that?” Harry stood as well. “Fine, we are doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Follow me,” Harry ordered and strode out of his office.

Eggsy followed, wondering what the fuck was going on. Harry lead him to the wing that contained all the agent’s offices and knocked on a few door until he had an answer. “Percival, hello, we have a question for you.”

“Of course,” Percival gave a polite smile.

“Is Merlin dating agenting Galahad?”

Percival frowned, “is this some sort of puzzle, a riddle to solve?”

“No, it is a specific question that I ask that you answer. Do you have any knowledge of our quartermaster dating this agent?”

Eggsy sure it would all be over now, Percival never missed a trick.

“As far as I am aware, both men are single.”

“You’ve seen me and Merlin eat meals together!” Eggsy said.

“Colleagues often eat together,” Percival countered, “I saw nothing that indicated a romance.”

Eggsy frowned, “we switch plates halfway through. He drinks his coffee and we switch cups half way through. Because he needs the extra half cup!”

“That makes no sense,” Percival said. “We have unlimited coffee.”

“It is a couple thing because one morning - you don’t need those details,” Eggsy decided. “How could you miss that he shares his food with me? He don’t share with no one.”

“You never kissed or hugged when you parted.”

“We’re at work, and gentlemen.”

“Well, congratulations on your relationship? It must be new.”

“Six months, there 'mister I see everything'.”

“Ah,” Percival said and closed his door in their face.

Roxy had popped her head out of her office. “No way are you dating,” she said.

“Thank you,” Harry said in relief.

“Roxy!” Eggsy stared at her in shock. “How can you say that?”

“You never touch him, you are a tactile man. If you were dating, you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. You’d be all huggy and smoochy, and just constantly touching him.”

“I touch him loads!” Eggsy wondered what the hell was wrong with everyone. “I wrap his hands for him when he works out, I help him up when he’s been on the ground fixing something. We brush fingers when I give him tea.”

“Those are things any friend or coworker could do, Eggsy. You are a hugger, you hug me like five times in one conversation.”

“Yeah because you don’t mind. He don’t like hugs at work, and I’m not an arse so I’m not going to do something he doesn’t like. And counterpoint he touches me.”

“He does?” Both Harry and Roxy say.

“Yes,” Eggsy snarked. “He straightens my tie or fixes my pocket square because I never get it right. He touches me to move me out of his way.”

“That is not uncommon,” Roxy said.

“Really because when Bors is in his way he just says ‘will you move you pillock?’. I get a hand at the small of the back. After missions if he has to work and we can’t go off and be alone I get a shoulder squeeze.”

Harry had to pause. Merlin really didn’t touch anyone at work unless it was sparring practice. “Eggsy that could equal close friendship. Are you sure you haven’t misconstrued the relationship? Out of your need to be loved?”

“Okay, you need to not actually read the self help books HR has been giving you,” Eggsy told Harry, “And it is really hard to misconstrue his dick in my ass.”

Roxy shuddered. “Oh that is like thinking about my brother having sex - gross.”

Eggsy was annoyed enough to gross her out a little more. “Do it on the regular, you know. Fucking, that is. Wanna know how good those long fingers of his are when they press against -”

“Fine!” Roxy said quickly, looking a bit peaked. “You are dating Merlin. Good for you.”

“Eggsy believes himself in love with Merlin,” Harry added.

“It’s only been six months, you said.” Roxy frowned at Eggsy. “Bit quick, that?”

“No,” Eggsy shook his head, “it isn’t. And he loves me too.”

“But how can you be sure?” Harry wanted the world for the two men, but he knew Merlin and the man was not the warmest, and Eggsy needed the sun.

“I know I love him, because I remember his byzantine system for when he likes tea or coffee. I love him enough I made a chart of that and memorized it. Do you know how insane he is on that? And not just that I memorized it, but that it makes honest sense to me? That means I’m clearly insane too. I love that he wears one of four outfits because he pretends he works for a tailor and hates clothes. But he doesn’t does he? He hates that he can't really wear a Kingsman suit, because the rules say that's for those that sit at the table, even though he's stronger and smarter than all of us put together so he just orders the same jumpers and trousers. I love that he has a decent singing voice but refuses to sing with me because he thinks I sound better and doesn’t want to ruin it. I love his crooked tooth, and the way he calls his mum every Sunday at exactly 3:45pm, and that he dunks shortbread in tea which is gross and stupid and I find charming.”

“He’s not the sort to say I love you, back though, and that lack could hurt you.”

Eggsy knew Harry was just looking out for him and hugged him tight. He heard Roxy snort. “Yeah I’m a hugger, but he lets me hug plenty when we are alone. He just don’t like public displays and that’s fine. And it’s fine that he might never say I love you to me.”

Roxy touched his shoulder, “Hun, how can that be fine?”

“Because he don’t need to say the words. He double checks all my weapons before I leave. Always him in my ear on missions, he said he would always be the one to bring me home. He touches me a little in public. He shares his food with me. Every time he breaks his work demeanor even just a tiny bit - that is a fucking shout. A goddamn declaration of how much he loves me. He calls me beautiful in bed, he will stay awake to read to me when I have nightmares. He is horrible with children, but has had tea parties with Daisy. He was the one to find my mum work. When I have the mates over, he takes the time to talk to them even though there has never been a man more introverted than him. He says the words to me in everything he does for me, every damn day.” Eggsy stepped away from Harry. “Now it is the third Tuesday of the month which means he will be wanting an Ceylon tea with a dash of milk at 11:11am. Want to make sure to bring that to him. He had a lot of coding and might forget and then there is no fixing the grump that will settle in for the rest of the day.”

Eggsy left them behind and went to Merlin’s office where Merlin was furiously typing. He made the tea and put it beside Merlin. “Stretch your shoulders, flick your fingers, bet you haven’t taken a break,” Eggsy suggested. If those words didn’t mean I love you and I’m going to take care of you, he didn’t know what did.

That Merlin stopped and did as Eggsy asked was clearly I love you too. It was so obvious to Eggsy he wondered how the other agents missed it. They practically were beaming love about like a giant laser show. They were as quiet about their love as the Pink Floyd Tribute Band laser thingy that they had gone to last month. They had been among the very few not high at it. It had been hilarious.

“I’ll be done by 5,” Merlin said. _I love you enough to call it quits when it would usually be eight or nine by the time I finish_.

“I’ll stop by at 6,” Eggsy replied. _I love you enough to know you need that extra hour because you will get involved and then feel like shit that you broke your promise to me_.

“We could go to that restaurant you like,” Merlin offered. _I love you enough to go to the place that has so many spices in the food it makes me cry, but you adore so I’ll order something mild and put up with the heartburn_.

“I got leftover pizza at my place,” Eggsy said. _I love that you would do that for me, but I want cuddles on the sofa_.

“I’ll look forward to that,” Merlin answered. _I love our time together and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world._

Eggsy reached out and massaged Merlin’s knuckles a bit, bent his wrists back and forth a little. “See you at six then.”

Merlin stood up and straightened Eggsy’s tie, fiddled with the buttons of his waistcoat so that everything lay perfectly flat and then sat back down. “See you then.”

Later that night when they were on the couch, telly playing something they weren’t paying attention to, Eggsy told Merlin about what had happened and everyone’s reactions.

Merlin snorted, “I thought we were being far too obvious at work.”

“I know. Eggsy looked at the clock. “You’re going to want that decaf coffee, I’ll get it for you.” He stood up and found himself pulled back down onto Merlin’s lap.

“I’d rather have you,” Merlin replied at kissed him. “Should I plant a very obvious hickey on your neck for them to converse about tomorrow? Wear one of your ties instead of mine?”

Eggsy got a little thrill at the thought of Merlin wearing his tie, he wasn’t going to lie. “Sure, we could do that.”

Merlin picked Eggsy up and tossed him over his shoulder and Eggsy ended up with a lot of hickeys in places no one was going to see. And Merlin did wear one of Eggsy’s ties the next day.

************************************

“Galahad, when did you start wearing a wedding band?” Harry asked interrupting his own table meeting.

Every person in the room there or projected in was staring at his hand that had been gesturing while he talked about some intel he had found on his last mission.

“Oh my god, how do we actually save the world?” Eggsy asked in awe. “Been wearing it ever since I got married three months ago?”

“To whom?” half the table shouted.

“To me gentleman,” Merlin replied and moved his clipboard so that the matching band could be seen on his finger. “Now then if we could focus on the task on hand, and not a bit of jewelry?” He sighed when it was clear that no one was going to focus. “Fine,” Merlin sighed and switched the monitor and it showed he and Eggsy getting married. Merlin’s mum, Michelle and Daisy in attendance, JB even in a little suit.

That was another way Merlin said I love you. He had their wedding photos one finger tap away at any given moment. The photo disappeared and the blueprints went up. Merlin continued with the meeting, Eggsy the only one not gobsmacked and able to pay attention.

He always paid attention to Merlin, it was the best I love you he could give. Though based on the reactions of the table, Merlin was going to be bothered by people a lot. That meant the gunpowder tea, with a twist of lemon. Making sure he would have that on hand would be an ever better I love you.

Eggsy ignored the way Harry kicked him under the table and focused on Merlin, who spared him one small smile.

Seriously, how had no one figured them out? They were so damn obvious.


End file.
